Laugh along with me
Not a lot to report. .Just been doing the normal home duties, a little gardening ,and played social bowls last week. and just trying to stay cool.. Not looking forward to pennant Tuesday we travel to Wangaratta to play and the forecast is low 40cs.thats about 104f+ we play till the temp reaches 37c then heat rule comes in play the game is stopped...then we go in for lunch before boarding the Club bus for home . thats all folk .
Now on with a few jokes ..
A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first two holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his $80.00, he confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he is the Parish Priest. The pro got all flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them..."
A 7 year old & a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.'
ITALIAN GRANDMA'S ADVICE
A young Italian girl was going on a date.
Her Nonna said:
"Sita here ana letame tella you about those-a younga boys. He's agonna try ana kiss you,
you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do that.
He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likea dat too,
but don'ta let him do that.
But most important,
he's agonna try ana lay on topa you, you are agonna likea dat, but don'ta let him do that.
Doing thata willa disgraca the family.With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: "Nonna, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. 'Murphy,
'Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes.'